Monday, October 23, 2006


It will come as no surprise to most who have known me for even a short period of time that I've had troubles with sleep. It just doesn't come to me as easily as it seems to for most. It's a problem that my parents had to deal with even before I was old enough to get stressed out about it. Thoughts of sleep evoke feelings of frustration for me. I simply could not comprehend how some people could like sleep, until I realized that they don't lie awake waiting for sleep as much as I do.

This past Friday, after many years of struggle, I decided to concede defeat to whatever demon it was that was keeping me awake at night. No more futile attempts to maintain a 24 hour schedule. I wasn't going to go to bed until I felt really drowsy, like I would crash once my head hit the pillow. I left my alarm clock off. I wasn't going to wake up until my body decided it had had enough sleep (Oh the luxuries of being a grad student!).

A strange thing seems to be happening. In the past, sleeping in an extra hour meant it took an extra hour to fall asleep the next night. If I wanted to correct this, so that I was getting up at the same time everyday, it meant depriving myself of an hour of sleep the next night. That extra hour of sleep never seemed like enough either. So I thought that I would get into a longer sleep cycle than the natural 24 hour cycle, sleeping longer, and going to bed later and later as a result. Instead, however, it seems that each night, I am getting tired sooner, and each morning I am waking up sooner, all without a set bedtime, and all without setting my alarm clock.

What a truly strange demon that would release me from his sleepless grip once I stop asking to be released. Let's hope the trend continues, and let's hope this demon doesn't construe my hoping as asking.

1 comment:

Brielle said...

Lying awake waiting for sleep is one of the worst feelings. I don't have it very often (normally I crash when my head hits the pillow), but when I do I'm in such a bad mood the next day. :S Hope it keeps getting better!